Houston, we got a problem

I'm obssessed. Weddings. Holy Moley I want to get married so bad.

Remember that little girl I was, oh, even 3 years ago. "I won't WILL NOT get married before I graduate and do all this incredible stuff and I'm at least like, 24".

Mmm yeah. She's sorta disappeared. And I want to get married REALLLLY badly.

Not even for a husband necessarily. I just LOVE weddings. I went to one a few weeks ago and I was just dancing jumping skipping the rest of the day so happy. (sure i already told you:))

Also, I'm taking child development. Usually those classes make you NOT want to have a baby. Yeah, not happening. I want a little one so bad!! We watched a movie about children living in orphanages in Romania. Made me want to go over there RIGHT now and adopt them all. Reminded me of when I was a little girl and my biggest aspiration was to open up an orphanage and care for all the little kids. I wanted to be like, the nice version of Annie, singing included.

Anyways. Don't worry, I won't do anything rash. But if you have a wedding that you need help with,, or know anyone that is in need of service with their wedding ie: setting up, serving food, invitations.. PLEASE let me know!! I would LOVE to do it. It'd be so fun. Or if anyone has a baby I could babysit. I'd even do it for free!! I just need a dose of those things.

I've found healing today

"Although we might settle for less, Heavenly Father won't, He sees

us as the glorious beings we are capable of becoming"

"For those who are discourage by their circumstances, I make you two promises. Hard as things seem today, they will be better in the next day, as long as you serve the Lord this day. The other promise is as long as you servge Him this day, you will feel His love"

New Name

So, I've turned into a little privacy conservative and knowing that everyone knew my complete full name, kinda freaked me out. And a more creative name has been on my mind, so the change seemed fitting.

The inspiration came from this song.....

okay.. embedding wont work.. anyone know how to fix that?? for now,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_J9kPQ8hwA

It's called KKK Katey, its a war song from World War II and the main part that sticks in my mind is when it goes;

"KKK Kati, beautiful lady, you're the only gggggirl that I adore,

When the mmmoooon shines, Over the cowshed, I'll be waiting at the kkkitchen door"

When I was little, around 4, everyone would sing the chorus of this to me all the time and I'd get so upset, I'd start crying and screaming, yeah, not my proudest moment. But now it's growing on me and I appreciate it, became a little fond memory ;).

Anyways, hence the change!! And I like it :)

Glimpse into my Journal?

I have been really selfish lately. Granted, I’m doing it cuz ‘others are doing it’, but, it gives me no right, makes the situation worse, and doesn’t improve me any. And the situation remains the same, yet, it spirals downward because we live in this twisted vision of everything having to be even. You complain, that merits me a complaint, which merits Bob a complaint, which merits Sally a complaint, which means you get to complain. It’s vicious.

I hate this standstill of stubbornness. “I need to do better.” “Why do I personally need to do better?!” “If only they would change.” “My changing could do amazing works with Heavenly Father’s help.” “I am capable of anything.” “Heavenly Father isn’t listening.” “Heavenly Father is the only one who understands.” “I am progressing.” “I am failing.” I wish that that nudge would come from within and just, TADA!, I’d do better. Unfortunately, that’s not coming.

I wish that I could magically go back to that positive girl that is in there; apparently she’s playing a really good game of hide and go seek.

I wish that I could understand why I’m going through what I’m going through. Who in my family isn’t? I wish that calm collected girl would return and the one who cries a few times a day at just a thought would disappear. At least I’m coming to terms. I’ve had some really awesome experiences the past little while; I just need to remember to be happy! Remember who’s looking out for me. Remember that in time, all things pass. Remember that no one will remember me, or their opinion won’t matter, in even 3 years.

Don't you love pinterest??

Oh, how life changes

So many emotions!! I literally.. cannot.. hold.. STILL!! I'm so happy right now!:)

Today was such a spiritual day... I wish I felt comfortable sharing more. But my testimony has grown so much. It's amazing what giving up a little bit of what you want ends up giving you in return.

I went to a wedding reception on Saturday. Let's just say, that was a pretty dangerous thing for me to do. With my recent obsession with them, it just intensified!! I want to get married SO BAD. Err... I want a wedding, the guy can wait ;). I was literally skipping up and down the roads and twirling, I was so full of happiness. There was a little girl who was untying the bows on the back of chairs and I went and fixed them, it made me so joyful, I think I want to look into a job of helping out caterers, that'd pretty much be perfect!! I'd just be pretty hyper all the time;).

Then after church today I sat down and talked weddings and old love stories with my grandma, I was in HEAVEN! So much fun for me to listen to. I love her so much, and the stories made my heart swell. I love these kinds of things!! Plus I had a homemade ice cream sandwich, yum:D.

I also love making these little creations...

I also got to play piano for an hour, how I love that little (big?) instrument!! It gives peace to my soul. And I sang, even though it hurts!

Oh!! Wanna see what I did? $0.00!! Wahoo!!

Does this make sense to you?? This is just my life lately, weddings, coupons, ice cream.. all I can think about.. and not much other than that..

There's so much trial and hardship going on right now but,

I LOVE LIFE!!:)

15,816

15,816 hours until I graduate... give or take 24... I have a feeling those will fly by

Where does life go??